Secrets to Inspire Your Husband to Change

After 10 years of marriage, my husband was depressed, unhealthy, unmotivated, and super negative. I spent a lot of time trying to help him change his life. I would have done anything to see him happier and healthier again. I tried everything I could think of, but I went about it the wrong way. I tried to convince him and force him to change, but that only drove us apart.

We spent a lot of rocky years together like this, but thankfully we made it out on the other side. I learned a LOT. I learned ways to inspire your husband to change, instead of forcing or convincing or scolding or nagging them to change. I want to share them with you.

Here are the 7 Secrets I learned to Inspire Your Husband to Change:

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1. Don’t tell him to change. No one wants to be scolded or feel like a bad person, especially from their spouse. This includes judgemental looks and frustrated sighs. The more you nag him, the more he will pull away. 

   
   

2. Focus on yourself. Sometimes the reason we want to control others is because we feel out of control in our own life. Find ways to change your own life and be a better person.

   
   

3. Be a role model. Start doing the things that you want him to do. Set a stoic example without getting in his face about. Get active, eat healthy, read a book, learn something new, and go to bed on time.

   
   

4. Invite him to join you. Make him feel welcome, but don’t judge his decision either way. Accept him for who he is and what he is going through.

   
   

5. Be independent. Don’t hold yourself back to his level. Your happiness does not depend on his happiness. Take care of yourself even if he doesnt. Get a massage, buy the food that you want, and go on a vacation even if he won't.

   
   

6. Be patient. Super patient. He has to realize that he doesn’t want to be left behind. But it could take a long time. 

   
   

7. Let go. Completely. He has to know and feel that you have let go. He has to decide for himself to make a change and join you... or risk losing you.

Bonus!

1. Encourage him to help others. His ego is easily offended. Trick him into thinking that he is an expert. When he starts to help other people, it will inspire him to make the same changes and be the role model.