The Secret to Inspiring Change in Your Husband

I spent a lot of years trying to help Jake change his life. He was depressed, unhealthy, and unmotivated. I would have done anything to help him, and I tried everything I could think of.

Here are the 7 secrets I learned:

1. Don’t tell him to change. No one wants to be scolded or feel like a bad person, especially from their spouse. This includes judgemental looks and frustrated sighs. The more you nag him, the more he will pull away. 

   
   

2. Focus on yourself. Sometimes the reason we want to control others is because we feel out of control in our own life. Find ways to change your own life and be a better person.

   
   

3. Be a role model. Start doing the things that you want him to do. Set a stoic example without getting in his face about. Get active, eat healthy, read a book, learn something new, and go to bed on time.

   
   

4. Invite him to join you. Make him feel welcome, but don’t judge his decision either way. Accept him for who he is and what he is going through.

   
   

5. Be independent. Don’t hold yourself back to his level. Your happiness does not depend on his happiness. Take care of yourself even if he doesnt. Get a massage, buy the food that you want, and go on a vacation even if he won't.

   
   

6. Be patient. Super patient. He has to realize that he doesn’t want to be left behind. But it could take a long time. 

   
   

7. Let go. Completely. He has to know and feel that you have let go. He has to decide for himself to make a change and join you... or risk losing you.

Bonus!

1. Encourage him to help others. His ego is easily offended. Trick him into thinking that he is an expert. When he starts to help other people, it will inspire him to make the same changes and be the role model.